Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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