he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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