there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
