I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
