Im at strip club and am horny
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
