Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't think brook has ever known best
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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