You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
