What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
