so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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