NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
