So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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