I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
FUCK WHALES
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize