Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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