last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
