I just saw a hot homeless man
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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