oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
