and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
