I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
