brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
