I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
