you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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