the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
