You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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