If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
