It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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