? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
