Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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