When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
