This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
