you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
