Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
