haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
