Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
