I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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