Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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