Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
