I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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