Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
