Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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