It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
