Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
