We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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