there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
