Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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