love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
