Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
