we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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