dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
