Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
