i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
