but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
