this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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