ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
